Still having so many mixed feelings around weaning. Part of me is really feeling the pressure and doubting myself a bit for even deciding to breastfeed this long. I really thought it would be easier if I waited until she was older, and it was relatively easy the time I tried last week. I mean she didn't really want to go to sleep, she kept fidgeting but there weren't really any tears. But the next day she pinched her finger in the door and I couldn't wean my baby while she was in pain! Fast forward to this week and she has been having a pretty rough time even going down for naps without nursing (we haven't used to sleep for nap but she has been crying for it). Which hasn't happened in over a month! Yesterday was the first day all week she fell asleep at nap happy, and so at bedtime I decided to try again, and it actually worked again with little fuss. She fell asleep after like 45 min of rocking/bouncing (oh yes I am aware I'm just replacing one bad habit with another but that is how I roll) but then she woke up when I laid her down and it was the end of that! And I gave in again! Gah! Why!? I just feel like I am failing major on this one. And now I have to decide if I just try it again and this time don't give in, or maybe let her nurse but not to sleep. That way I can get rid of the nursing to sleep before I actually take away the nursing all together. But then I really feel like the only thing that is keeping the nursing around is as a way to fall asleep, and its not really necessary to keep it. But maybe it would be gentler. I guess I could try it. Yet, I'm really over all of this and would love for it to just be behind us and trying the second way will just prolong it. Now that we are approaching two years, I feel like we are probably making some people start to wonder. And I hate that I care! I hate that I am letting them make me doubt myself! So I'm trying to figure out what part of my feelings are coming from a feeling like I have to wean because that's what everyone expects, or my own feelings that I really want to wean. Of course there are times when I feel like breastfeeding is inconvenient and I would love a little more freedom, but there are other times when I think about how I will be sad when it's over. While rocking her to sleep these past few days for nap and at night I keep thinking about her as a baby, and how she is so big now, but still my baby. How fast it all went and how there is so much letting go little by little in parenting, and how this will just be the beginning of many years ahead. I used to think I could only do it till two, and then as it gets closer I think I could probably go longer if I really wanted too. I totally understand why people let there kids self wean and I sometimes wish I could trust myself enough to go that path. But I also want to get pregnant. Which thus makes me feel very guilty about not wanting to nurse while I'm pregnant. I know it's doable so I feel like I should do it, but I really don't want to tandem nurse (even though I think there are definitely benefits, I know I would be too overwhelmed) and I'm afraid KyKy wouldn't self wean. Yet a part of me is still holding on to hope that possibility could somehow play out.
So I'm kind of lost on what to do next, or even what I want to do next.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Ages and Stages: 23 Months
Another quick little monthly update while you take a monster nap (over three hours now-should I wake you up, are you still over tired from the long weekend, is this why you have been a little cranky at naptime and bedtime this week). ANYWAY, you love to play with your stuffed animals and any type of little figure (the wooden melissa and doug people, the fisher price little people and animals, your baby dolls, Tinkerbell, Cinderella, your minions, and we can't for get Georgie, or the Jerry and Ryan puppets! etc. etc. ) It's so funny because you will play with them with each other really well, but then you will be very lovey with them too, giving them hugs and saying I love you. In fact you have been very liberal with your "I love you's" recently. You even said " I love you big girl" to one of the mannequins at old navy the other day. lol You also love and are A pro at puzzles!!
You will do at least 6 in a row and we even have some 8 and 12 piece ones you can do yourself!!
You know most of your letters by sight now but sometimes you say K is X and I is T and P is R. But you can usually get that last one right if I ask you to try again. You can count to 13 and then will say random letters like "16,19, 22, 28..". You say the cutest things all the time! I love that you can tell me what you want to eat now. Recently I have been really loving it when you say "hmmmm" and just throw out "someday" into the conversations. I hope I never forget your expressions and the way your little voice sounds when you say those things! You also say things are your "favorite" sometimes even though it might be debatable in some situations. And a few times when you have been trying to tell me what you want, you say "the thing I like to do" lol. I love that! You are just the best and are so funny!
You will do at least 6 in a row and we even have some 8 and 12 piece ones you can do yourself!!
You know most of your letters by sight now but sometimes you say K is X and I is T and P is R. But you can usually get that last one right if I ask you to try again. You can count to 13 and then will say random letters like "16,19, 22, 28..". You say the cutest things all the time! I love that you can tell me what you want to eat now. Recently I have been really loving it when you say "hmmmm" and just throw out "someday" into the conversations. I hope I never forget your expressions and the way your little voice sounds when you say those things! You also say things are your "favorite" sometimes even though it might be debatable in some situations. And a few times when you have been trying to tell me what you want, you say "the thing I like to do" lol. I love that! You are just the best and are so funny!
Friday, July 10, 2015
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Fun With Felt: DIY Felt Wall!
Our DIY felt wall:
So ever since I saw the idea of a felt board on Pinterest I knew I would have to try it out! But instead of actually making a felt board, I decided to be lazy and just hang the felt directly onto the wall with painters tape. We have the perfect half wall in our split level house to do it on and this way I didn't have to make any holes! I will admit that I first tried to tape both the sky and ground up without sewing them together, which lasted a little while but then I had a little area right in the middle of the scene that things wouldn't stick to very well. So I eventually did sew the light blue and green panels together. When we want to make the ocean or the backing for the map I just stick the blue over our base sky and land and painters tape the sides and it works fine.
I have had the felt wall for probably five months now and I just add little pieces here and there as I I have time. Some pieces I have sewn together, some I have just hot glued. I think the scuba diver is my favorite (I found the template on Pinterest here) and the little piggies are Kylie's favorite!.
There is still so much I want to do: more farm animals, more foods, a big bad wolf, a garden, more things to show the changing seasons. It really could be a never ending addiction for me. I also have many more ideas for the world map (although I still need to add Antarctica) that include more than just felt! My inspiration from that project is coming from here and here. But since Kylie is still a little young for some aspects of it, I will probably hold off until this winter.
So ever since I saw the idea of a felt board on Pinterest I knew I would have to try it out! But instead of actually making a felt board, I decided to be lazy and just hang the felt directly onto the wall with painters tape. We have the perfect half wall in our split level house to do it on and this way I didn't have to make any holes! I will admit that I first tried to tape both the sky and ground up without sewing them together, which lasted a little while but then I had a little area right in the middle of the scene that things wouldn't stick to very well. So I eventually did sew the light blue and green panels together. When we want to make the ocean or the backing for the map I just stick the blue over our base sky and land and painters tape the sides and it works fine.
I have had the felt wall for probably five months now and I just add little pieces here and there as I I have time. Some pieces I have sewn together, some I have just hot glued. I think the scuba diver is my favorite (I found the template on Pinterest here) and the little piggies are Kylie's favorite!.
There is still so much I want to do: more farm animals, more foods, a big bad wolf, a garden, more things to show the changing seasons. It really could be a never ending addiction for me. I also have many more ideas for the world map (although I still need to add Antarctica) that include more than just felt! My inspiration from that project is coming from here and here. But since Kylie is still a little young for some aspects of it, I will probably hold off until this winter.
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