Weaning II

I foresee many of posts on this subject as I know it is going to be a major transition for both baby girl and me. Last night didn't go very well and I caved. In my head I am worried about how giving in will just enable her more, but I am not cut out for "cry it out" or anything resembling it. I'm just too soft! It's literally torture for me listening to her cry, especially when I know it's my fault and I can fix it. But then where does that leave me? I would like to believe that there will be a time when she will be ready to give up nursing, but what if it's not until she is much older? I don't think I could go much past the age of two. Even if I felt okay with it, I know the pressure to wean would be too much for me then. I would love to believe she would stop nursing on her own if I got pregnant like many toddlers do apparently. But what if she doesn't? I don't think I would want to go through something like last night while pregnant.

So for now, since not nursing all day was a pretty easy adjustment I am going to continue that and then try giving up the night feed again in a week or two.

Are we really weaning?

Is this real life, am I really weaning my baby girl? I'm not even sure, so far today it looks like it. She is now 21 months and although I really didn't want to be a "weaner" I think I have made it to that point. I have so many emotions. In many ways, I'm ready. I am SO ready. Some of it has a lot to do with the pressure from other people, particularly my husband. But then I have my own reasons. Nursing a toddler is not the same as nursing an infant. It is less soft and cuddly and a lot more wiggly and pinchy. Also, as expressed in my last post I would like to start trying for another again soon and I although I love breastfeeding I don't think I could handle tandem nursing. Plus, I know it is going to be a busy summer so I want to do this now rather than later when it could be harder. And I definitely don't want to wean her during other transitional times like during potty training or getting into a big girl bed and such. I just feel like now is the right time. But in other ways I'm terrified. I don't want to put myself and my reasons before her needs. I don't want it to be traumatic for her. What if doing it too soon will make her insecure and clingy? I'm so worried she will hate me. I'm scared of how our relationship will change. I don't want my baby to get any bigger! I feel that anxious sick feeling and I'm sure I will feel this way over the next few days.

I go back and forth in my head about what I should do. So I guess I'm just going to go ahead and try and see how baby girl does with it. If it seems that she is tolerating the change decently we will proceed but if it seems to be too traumatic then I will just have to wait until another time.

Ages and Stages: 21 Months

Ah, you are such a little toddler now! You look so long and lean! You still fit into some 12 month clothes :P but are mostly wearing 18 month right now. We still can't get over how smart you are. You are literally repeating EVERYTHING now. Phrases and little sentences and everything. And of course you are communicating your own ideas through sentences and phrases too. Sometimes you will add "today" or "this morning" to random things you say and it is just too cute, especially when it doesn't really fit what you have said. I also can't get enough of the "you're so beautiful's" I get from you almost every day, as you cup my head in your hands. The other day you even told me, "you're so cute, mommy". The only time you are really that quiet is if we are around a lot of people. Recently you have been reciting the first few lines of your favorite book "Cinderella": "Once upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She lived with her stepmother. Stepmother didn't like Cinderella. She worked very hard every day." You come up with the cutest little games to play now, like for example when you go to the glass door and come and run into our arms and then tell us "Tinkerbelle too fast" or "Snow White too fast", referring to yourself. I love it when you pretend to be someone, last night you were pretending you were Sneezy the dawrf! You will say "Sneezy likes..." and "Sneezy is..." you know exactly how to play. You love to play with all your stuffed animals and wrap them up like your babies, so they become "baby Ernie", "baby Rosita", etc. You also love to take them and show them how to slide down the slide. Recently some favorites have been "George" (the monkey beanie baby), Spot, and Simba.You also have been really into playing with stickers lately, so we have been doing a lot of that. You still love to paint so I try to do that every once in a while too. I got you a little Melissa & Doug puzzle where you put shapes in corresponding parts of the picture and you like to do that and then clap for yourself and say horray!

We have been going to the park quite a bit lately and you love to see the other kids there. You will say "Hey, little boy, hey, hey, come mere" or "Hey, little girl, whatca thinking?". You are not shy at all and will basically follow around anyone you take a liking too.

You are definitely getting your bottom 2 year molars. They have given you some trouble here and there, but so far not as much as the 12 year molars (in my opinion). But I can tell they are just barely starting to pop through so I'm sure we have a long way to go. You have been nursing basically twice a day, for nap and night time and wake up once during the night. Except we did have a little regression on nursing frequency and night waking for a week or two at the end of April when your molars seemed to be hurting the worst.

Baby fever!

So thrilled to announce I now have a precious new Niece! And I officially have baby fever! For a while I wasn't sure if it would ever happen to me; the idea of another baby had me teetering from being super excited to completely terrified! But now that baby girl is not so much a baby anymore and keeping herself entertained more and more it seems like we could add another to our family. actually I am now feeling like I really want to give Baby girl a sibling to play and love! I think the time is almost exactly right! So let's hope fate will agree :)