This post is really a to-do list for myself. It started out as detached thoughts in my head during my own postpartum recovery experience. Throughout my many visitors, thoughts kept popping into my head on what I wanted to remember to do when I visit a mom who has just had a new baby.
1. Wait-I know this one will be harder than it sounds, but I really think a new family needs some alone time to bond, process their birth experience, and SLEEP. Bringing a baby into the world is a completely overwhelming experience and new moms do not need any other forms of excitement. And for new moms like me, it can take up to a month before emotions really start to settle down. Sending a care package (using some of the ideas below), is a way to show that your thinking of the new family, without interfering.
2. Visits should be an hour at maximum. Good God if you are going to visit, please keep the visit short and sweet!
3. Bring a gift. Obviously, this is not a necessity but a nice gesture. Food and diapers are both great. For food think frozen dinners and easy snacks she can eat with one hand (fruit, muffins, etc.).
4. Clean up a bit. If you are close enough do the dishes or see if you can put in some laundry. Ask "what can I do for you" not "is there anything I can do for you" and make her tell you because there has got to be something!
I know that it's a very exciting time, and that visitors only want to send their love to the new family's but there are two experiences that made me want to cry anytime I thought of them until just recently. They may have been alleviated by following #2 of this list,
but because I NEVER want to make anyone feel that way, I will always er
on the extra sensitive side. When it comes to my family and close friends, I know I will have a
discussion about visiting while she is still pregnant, and make her
PROMISE her to be honest with me if she changes her mind when the
joyous, yet hectic, time arrives.
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