Gender: Part I

There is so much I could say about gender, and believe it or not, it actually goes beyond gender roles that surround the domestic sphere. So I have labled this post as part one, because I foresee many more to come.

To me, gender is a completely fascinating expression of culture and societal institution. When I say 'gender' I mean the way we express ourselves in terms of the social constructs of masculinity and femininity. This includes expression through both physical appearance and behavior. I do not deny there are biological differences between men and women, because obviously there are-hello the reproductive system! But even beyond the glaringly obvious, men and women are fueled by different hormones and there is a growing amount of new research that suggest there are significant differences between the male and female brain. But male and female doesn't have to be synonymous with masculine and feminine. Gender expression is based on a complex system of beliefs and values so intricately embedded in the fabric of society, that sometimes it is hard to separate what is 'natural' from what is a product of culture. And like all societal norms, variations on gender roles occur from place to place and evolve over time.

There is no denying that we are forced into a gender identity from the moment we are born. Directly after my daughter was born, the nurses placed an itty bitty hat with a bow upon her tiny head; the gendering process had begun. Next comes what might be the most gendered item in American culture: baby clothes. We all know the stereotypical boys and girls colors, but the text on these outfits quite literally spell out the ideas and values we hold for each gender. "Pretty like Mommy" "Daddy's Princess" "Mommy's Rockstar" Beliefs on gender are so engrained that I don't even have to differentiate which phrase goes which gender, as a reader, you already know. Any blue clothing item that my daughter has, is adorned with a bow, ruffle, or something pink. One blue polka dot onsie we have, quite literally says "Little Girl", as if to relieve a passerby the discomfort that comes with gender uncertainty.

I was taken aback the first time I realized the extent to which preschool aged children are gender police. To them, some things are for girls and some things are boys and there is not much room for gray. This is actually partly a result of the natural schematic phase of learning, when children are busy labeling and categorizing information in their minds. With that said, our society is really doing a wonderful job of creating this boy/girl dichotomy for children to categorize themselves into. I mean seriously, do we have to make a separate, pink version of a toy for girls to play with? It's 2014, do we really need separate boys and girls toy isles? Just taking down the labels would be a start!

I think when people hear critiques on gender a lot of the time they envision the alternative as an androgynous world. But a world of gender neutral this and gender neutral that sounds quite boring to me, frankly. I want to live in a world full of gender diversity; full of individuals who fall all along the gender spectrum from the most feminine to the most masculine, and change from day to day for that matter. A world full of "girly-girls", "plain-Jane's" and "tomboys"; a world full of "manly men" and male cheerleaders. More importantly, let's get rid of all of the negative connotations that surround those labels and let everyone feel comfortable in their own skin. Let's stop assuming the pretty girl is a bimbo, or that the sensitive guy is homosexual. Let's strive for ambiguity rather than androgyny.