Words of Wisdom to Myself

There will be people who will judge your parenting, but like in all things, you will be your worst critic. 

There have been so many times I'm in conversation with someone about parenting, or maybe just when I'm actively parenting at that moment, when my mind is having it's own conversation about how this person I'm talking to probably doesn't agree with my decision to do "x". Sometimes, I wonder if I read too much; because inevitably I find all the stances on a certain theory, and then it's hard for me to keep the negative comments out of my head. I mean seriously, advice on parenting almost always comes as a warning; "don't do....", "if you do that then they will never....", "you must do it this way and only this way". It seems there are a hundred ways to do this parenting thing wrong, and only a few ways to do it right. When in reality there are a hundred ways to do it right, but that doesn't sell, so here we are. And even though I know that, I can't help but fall into this anxiety trap sometimes. I know there is some of my own insecurity at play here, but it is reasonable to conclude that if you know someone is judging another mom for something, they maybe doing the same thing to you. For instance, when someone tells you that "so and so doesn't really cook", and "her kids....",  you start to wonder if you are preforming adequately in their eyes. On top of all this, I'm so sensitive that even remarks that are not intended to have anything to do with parenting are hurtful sometimes. One particularly haunting comment made to me once was from a coworker talking about her daughter-in-law and granddaughter, "she stays home so they are just so in tune to one another". It was a completely innocent comment that had no mal intent whatsoever (it wasn't even said under the context of parenting or motherhood) but it still makes me cringe with jealousy, guilt, and anger. Bringing my baby girl to the daycare is about the only thing that bothers me though (and it does cause me a lot of guilt, but that's a whole other subject). I feel like I am doing a good job with motherhood on the whole. I follow my gut and make decisions that support my values. But the pressure of what other people think is still there at the back of my mind, and it seems to be getting worse lately. I don't really know why that is. Perhaps its because we are well out of the newborn stage and I don't really have the "new mom" excuse anymore? I guess I need to do some more soul searching to figure that one out. I know I won't be able to silence the negative thoughts completely, but I need to remember that there is no use worrying about what other people think, and that it is probably just my imagination half the time anyway.